Insomanic nights...

Yes.. it's comin to 2am in the morning and i lay sleepless on my bed even though i have to wake up at 645am which is in fact, a few hour's time...

Just these few days, it feels as though my mind is working on an overloaded machine.. think overloaded washing machine with loads of foam coming out.. only that i'm not foaming from my mouth...

Word of advice to all... if you seem to have lost me, i'm just zoning out for a while.. will be back real soon..

I'm finally going back into the performing scene.. 7 years later.. I've laid low for a long time and i guess this is my final shot in a band.. if this doesn't work out, shaun is going solo.. It's not that i hate the band scene.. i love working in a band.. but bands are somewhat worst than a bitchy GF.. if it goes fine, you're having all the fun in the world.. but if it goes bad, it's gonna bite you real hard and you pay for it with blood, sweat and time.. not to mention money.. So... i would really rather go thru a breakup with a really bitchy GF rather than a breakup with a band.. But well.. I'm really enjoying teaching music now.. Watch all my students awe at the fact that they have improved and suffer when the training gets tough.. LOL

Anyway, i suppose the next few months will be pretty eventful.. Stay tuned!

Til then, bear with me...
Signing off,
Phil Mycok

Songs of the heart

I haven't heard from her ever since... Her voice lingers in my ears, leaving a never ending trail of songs... Her face lingers on in my mind, imprinting an image ever so fine... Your distance makes absence unbearable... Just like how darkness is the absence of light.. But, nothin i can do about it. I do not own you, you are not my possession. I could only wait at a corner, waiting for the best thing to come.. which is you..

Yearning for you
Is perhaps most beautiful
Dreaming of you
Is love's cruel tool
Thinking of you
Am i a fool
Being with you
Can it be my one and only rule?

I've been sick...

It's been a long long time... yet again.... since i've updated my blogs.. How negligent can i get?!

Anyway, a few updates.. I'm no longer with Rhythm 'N' Moves.. I'm with Massive Productions right now.. Perhaps for the better.. Since this production is doing music.. Suits me better as well..

Figured since i'm self-quarantined at home, might as well make use of this time to update my blog.. Hmmm... Am teaching in 3 schools now.. Pioneer Primary, Bukit Batok Secondary and Sengkang Secondary.. Love my students in Sengkang Secondary.. They're witty and lovely.. I guess, being a music instructor, it really goes a long way when your students make you feel appreciated.. Sometimes i really wonder.. Students nowadays are so fortunate to be able to learn about music during their school hours.. Why do some of them attend the music classes as though they were forced to? Oh.... Anyway... hahahahha... there was a principal who asked if i could comb my hair "down" instead of "up".. Lemme tell you guys a secret... The secret behind how i can identify with my students so easily... is actually my hair.. It cuts down the invisible barrier that students have with teachers.. Really does! But i bet my parents will beg to differ...

Oh well... Anyways, hope to be able to take a few photos of my class for you guys to see soon!

Gotta first get well from a terrible cough, blocked nose and blocked ears... Terrible...

Flying around like a bee

Sorry guys... have been a little busy.. Just opened a music and dance studio called "Rhythm 'N' Moves" with a few partners.. Seems like my entrepreneur experience is gonna start soon!

This opportunity has opened up my eyes into the world of dance as well... Really interesting! But nah... I ain't gonna dance.. Don't think i'm cut out for it.. There's a reason why i teach vocals instead eh... tsk tsk.. hahahahha!

Now i'm currently also teaching percussion in Outram Secondary School.. Went there early this morning! 730am!!! Wow... when was the last time i woke up that early?... Stepping into the school made me feel old.. Didn't exactly make me feel like i'm a teacher.. It just made me feel very old.. I guess it's starting to hit me.. i AM getting older! Time to really plan for my future..

Nevertheless, my studio is at 5B, Trengganu Street, Chinatown.. Do drop by when you guys are free!

NZ Experience!

Sorry for disappearing for such a long long long time.. here are some of my favourite NZ photos..

Sawa-Dee-Cup

Some of the photos i took in thailand.. Definitely a rejuvenating trip.. And yes.. we lived like kings and queens in thailand! Now awaiting for my next trip to New Zealand this coming thursday!

It finally came out of my heart...

I've finally said it... Finally plucked up enough courage..

Unfortunately, it kills the heart... It invokes tears...

I've heard the good side and i've heard the bad side of it... Nonetheless, i'm just glad i confessed.

Ask me whether it was a success, i would look deep into your eyes without giving you an answer and you would know the whole story. I wouldn't even be able to tell if it was a success or a failure. All i could do is to dwell in it and ask myself questions. Questions which a scientist couldn't even provide me with an explanation with.

Keep trying... where would i even start from? Pick myself up... How would i ensure not to fall?

Whatever...

It's not the time to dwell over all these... I ought to slap myself silly and wake up. It wasn't a rejection... as i didn't ask for an answer. It was a declaration of truth. I wouldn't know what the future holds for me. As long as i have a single breath in me, i will go on... Your happiness is my happiness.. I wished for your everyday to be so very special...

Is this what i'm supposed to be thinking instead of dwelling in sorrow?

I'll try... =)

Studio shooting

This is Benjamin from the Campus Superstar.. Very lively guy.. Always fooling around but he's like a brother to me.. hahaha.. He likes my cai shen hat cos i have the two things sticking out.. BUT... the hat is the most uncomfortable costume piece.. It's tight and smelly.. The one below is Fu Kuan.. Also from the Campus Superstar.. He kept trying to make me laugh while i was having the beard on.. So when my beard came off twice, it's his fault.. hahahhahaha




These are pictures of my own makeup.. The beard and hat are the most uncomfortable piece.. The beard only allows minimal movement of the mouth.. so no eating... hahaha..

The green background is for the CG to be added in.. So basically we're all acting without any props.. So positioning is the main key.. In which we have lotsa.. caishen.. move a little little bit to your left. Oh no.. a bit to your right.. one step to the front.. oh no.. a tiny step to the back.. LOTSA moving around..

My apologies...

My apologies...

My camera man told me he took pictures of my graduation event.. but in the end, these were the only photos he took! My camera man is non other than my brother! Plus, i had the show recorded but only half of it! I apologise on behalf of my brother.. I'll choke slam him pretty soon..

The End Is The Beginning Is The End

Finally.. 28th October marks the end of the Very Actor's Course. Mixed emotions...

Some may say we've not learnt much, some may say we've learnt nothing.. But i must say the process of everyone growing together was a valuable experience.. An experience i would put it in the album of life.. All framed up and hung nicely on the wall..

The thing i'm most glad about was that both the groups of VA4 or.... AV4 as SOME might call it as.. did well for the graduation play.. We sweat, we bled but it finally paid off!

To the group leaders, it's a relieve.. To the group members, it's more free time over the weekends.. Nevertheless, it ended on a good note and it has all been worth it! Way to GO!

Well.. no matter what happens, how different our routes are in life, i hope that we all still make the effort to keep in contact... cos a course may last a few months.. but a valuable friendship lasts a lifetime...

Guys.. it's the end of the road.. but it's a start for another beginning..

Fear turns into Anticipation

Never mind about the picture.. It's just some random thing done at a random time..

Let's talk about fear turning into anticipation...

All my previous fears have turned into anticipation.. Hmmmm.. Disregarding about the fact that i just got food poisoning a few days back.. 4 days before the graduating play, what am i feeling now? Well... Anticipation.. Firstly, anticipation for it to end.. Secondly, anticipation to graduate alongside with the class and have a sense of relief with the rest of them.. Thirdly, anticipation for what comes after..

Pretty eventful... Besides, my big day has now been postponed to 30th November.. After which, Thailand trip with my good pals.. One to look forward to.. What do you get when 4 crazy dudes go to thailand? Upmost craziness... After days after, another trip to NZ with my family.. Looking forward to that as well cos i'll be seeing my sister..

Nevertheless, i'm glad all those worrying times in the past few months have paid off well.. really made me strive to succeed in what i'll be doing... And my friends.. pray hard for my venture to open up my very own studio hopefully by next year March.. Pretty soon i'll be Boss Shaun! Yeah babyyyyyYYYYY!

The Hunt For Red October

October has finally arrived.. Yes... and time is counting down.. 4 more weekends to go.. 4 more chances to put in more hard work.. 4 more weeks before the curtains are drawn..

BUT..... yet.. There are still problems.. Perhaps.. I focus a lot on other problems to forget about my current problem..

Am I able to pull out of everything in one piece? Will all things be solved at the last minute like always? Will things go smoothly like how i planned it out to be? My heart races as the weeks pace by.. 28th October.. The date that i'll remember.. For 2 things..

Firstly, the graduation play which my group has been facing hiccups all along... First we had a huge script problem.. Now, let me introduce a new problem to you.. A member who M.I.A.. Why in the world would this kind of things occur? Please.. you're old enough to know what's responsibility.. So wise up.. and buck up!

Secondly, when the truth is finally revealed... The stage is set.. for 2 different events.. Will either one be a success? Or will both? Or neither? Well... No point to think so much now.. There's only space left for more hard work and no more screw ups..

When I wish upon a moon...

Tonight, as i look up in the dark,cold sky, i saw the only thing that warms up the dark skies.. The big moon..

In the face of the moon, i could feel the gleaming warmth.. shining down on the dark area of the globe where Singapore lies.. Lighting up the supposed sleepy state of Singapore..

But I took this time to wish upon this moon.. To let the warmth fill up the cold emptiness in my heart..

My dearest mum and my beloved brother.. I have no idea how you both are putting up over in China.. My heart bled when i heard the news about you both being detained and unable to come back.. Relentless tears rolled down my cheek as i stared at my brother's empty bed. I sincerely hope that you both will reach home safe and sound as soon as possible.. If needed for exchange, i would rather exchange 5 years of my life for the safety of both of you..

Talking about wishes, i think many people would think they knew what kind of wish i would have made at this very moment.. Call it my folly, call me dumb.. Because i didn't wish for her to be with me.. i didn't wish for her to feel the same way as how i feel.. Instead, i wished for her well-being.. She has been coughing and it hurts to see her like this.. Therefore, that's how i used up my wish.. It isn't important that she loves me.. Because now i know, my happiness lies in her happiness.. When she smiles, i smile.. When she cries, i cry.. Tonight, i told the moon how much i feel for her.. That's my last straw to keep my sanity..

No matter how long and how hard the road ahead is, i know i have to walk on.. Even if i have to crawl, the journey must still go on. I will never give up on life because i know how precious it is.. and i know other lives are indeed interlinked with mine. No matter how hard the obstacles are to get through, i will crash through them. My new found fuel in life.. my new perspective in life.. i know my life will finally be perfect.. because once again, love has entered into my life and has made my heart human again..

Now, it's time for me to pass the torch and light up someone's life as well.. My dear... will it be you?

Collective memories...

One of the most painful journeys in life..... going around in circles.. Which only means you keep advancing... but only that you think so.. In the end, you're back at where you started..

One of the most disappointing journeys in life...... Being challenged by a friend who seems to be your friend... but would go all out just to win you..

One of the most frustrating moments in life....... To constantly deny a truth that you want so much to reveal... but yet am at the mercy of time..

One of the most ironic melancholy in life........ Loving someone... Periodically being hurt by someone you love and hurt someone who loves you...

One of the most beautiful things in life....... Missing someone... you never know how important that someone is to you til you miss her for almost an eternity...

One of the most important lesson in life........ Do what you deem is right and just... Execute your plan and never look back, never regret...

Nevertheless...

The course has finally come to an abrupt end..

The laughters will be missed.. the fun will be missed...

Nevertheless, the show must go on. Despite the setbacks, the sweat, the blood, the frustration... we still enjoy the rehearsals.. the company.. the jokes.. the craze...

Though many might claim that nothing much has been learnt from the course.. but i must say that several valuable lessons can be learnt..

I've come to learn that patience go a long way. I've come to realize the importance of responsibility. I've come to enjoy putting in hard work just to be able to see what i reap from what i've sown.

I've come to appreciate every single valuable and variable relationship i have with each and every one of them.. An attachment nonetheless.. Given so little time.. Just a short little 3 months.. and it was more than enough bargained for.. Every experience carved deeply into impression. All but one... has carved an even deeper impression.. And that very one is..................................... woah woah woah... hold on a sec... i ain't gonna expose this... not here..

Happy faces.. All around me... i think ultimately that's the prized possession from this course.. Smile my mates! We started of at a high note.. Now let's show them what we can achieve and let's end this on an even higher note!